Adoption Life Books – Child Booklet from Adoption World Specialties
The Foster-To-Adopt Child Booklet
The Foster-to-Adopt “Child” booklet explains that adoption is a big word for small people. In addition to Adoption World Specialties’ array of adoption life books and foster life books, this booklet is a valuable tool for use by parents when they’ve decided to adopt. The adoptive child has many questions and this booklet was written to help them understand what adoption is and how it is different from foster care. Our friends, Ja’mar and Michael and Sarah will help to explain how they traveled the path from being foster children to being adopted by their forever families.
Ja’mar says: “When I was a baby, I lived with my mom and dad. They had a lot of fights. I didn’t like the yelling. Then, when I was five, I went to live with somebody else. After my mom and dad got a divorce, I went back home to live with my mom again, but she still had too many problems. Then she went away somewhere with her boyfriend and didn’t come back. My grandma tried to help, but she got sick and I couldn’t stay with her anymore. Now, my foster parents have adopted me. I’m sure glad they have pets.”
Michael and Sarah say: “Our social worker said we won’t ever live with our mom or dad again. That made my sister, Sarah, cry, but I’m bigger and I’ll take care of her. And our new parents know a lot ‘bout stuff and tuck us into bed at night. They have adopted us and so that means we have a new name and we’ll be their kids forever.”
When your foster family adopts a child, many things take place. As the children explain, Ja’mar says: “My foster mom took me to visit the courthouse ahead of time so I wouldn’t feel so scared. But I still worried that the judge would say “no”. Instead, she shook my hand and said, “Ja’mar, your adoptive parents are lucky to have you for their son.” I had my picture taken with her… she was really nice.
Michael and Sarah also shared with us. Michael says: “Adoption means that I get to have a birthday party every year with the same family.” Sarah says: “Getting adopted was fun. I got a balloon and a new Betsy Baby Doll.”
After adoption, what changes? Some things will change and some will not. A list of child wonderments as follows: Your birthday will not change! Other things that probably won’t change include the child’s bedtime, where they sleep, chores, rules, school or church, friends, pets and weekly activities. Things that will change can be laid out as follows: The social worker, lawyer or judge no longer will decide what is best for the child, like when that child should go to the dentist, if they can stay overnight with a friend or go on a school fieldtrip. After adoption, that is the parents’ job because that’s how it’s supposed to work in families.
When the adoption is final, a new birth certificate will be sent to the parents saying that the child is now their SON or their DAUGHTER. Another change that happens for most kids is a name change! Guess what?! Some kids think that a new name is fun! Some kids thing that a new name sounds strange. Some kids worry… this is a key issue the foster parents can discuss with their child prior to adoption.
Last, it is important that the child’s memories are kept sacred. It will be OK to remember and talk about the birth family members the child is separated from. New parents won’t expect the child to forget about places they lived or pets that they cared about before that child came to their care. Ja’mar says, “I have pictures of my mom. I put them in my life book. Then when I miss her, I just open my book and that makes me feel better. But I wish I had a picture of my dad… and…Rusty. He’s the dog I used to have. He always went along with my dad and me when we went fishing.” Michael and Sarah comment, “When Mother’s Day comes, I think about my mom and I wonder what she’s doing. Then I feel sad that I’m not with her. Her name is Jody. She has long hair.”
To the child:
Well, adoption is still a big word, isn’t it? Adoption World Specialties hopes you understand things a little better now. Did you know that many children, who need a permanent family, have to wait… and wait… and wait? They aren’t as lucky as you are to have foster parents who love them and want to adopt them. Of all the things you have learned from this special book, most of all we want you to remember that YOU ARE LOVEABLE… AND LOVED! www.AdoptionWorld.net
