Positive Adoption Language – Adoption Lifebook Pamphlet

At www.AdoptionWorld.net you can download a free “POSITIVE ADOPTION LANGUAGE” pamphlet, an essential language tool for professionals and clients. In addition to Adoption World Specialties’ wide array of adoption life books, adoption memory books, foster life books, teen life books, and foster-to-adopt literature for parents and children, we offer this language guide free on our website.

Words can build or destroy relationships, self-esteem and opportunity. Those of us connected to adoption and foster care have a special responsibility to use positive language in regards to this circumstance. It’s important to use positive adoption language to correct media’s negative adoption images and terminology, and to sensitize educators and other professionals. Using positive language is a choice… we hope you will join us in promoting the positive language outlined in this pamphlet.

As an example, “adoptive” parent can be seen as negative or offensive language. The positive or preferred language for this example would be “Mother” or “Father”. It isn’t wrong to say that you’re an “adoptive” parent, but extended use by you or others (especially in front of our children), continues to qualify your parental status.

Another example would be “Hard to Place”. This implies that the child is less than desirable, less than normal. The positive or preferred language suggestions include “child with special needs” – NOT “special needs child” and/or “waiting child”.

For sixteen years we have been a trusted resource for adoption life publications dealing with the memory books, adoption life books and foster books process. Our Adoption Life Book and Memory Book products are used nationwide and beyond. Social workers, therapists, adoptive/foster families and their children enjoy our delightful adoption life books. Regardless of where you fit into the scene, we are likely to have something affordable to help make your job a little easier.

Our website has an entire section named “Information Articles”. The “POSITIVE ADOPTION LANGUAGE” pamphlet is printed literature for your use. The articles posted on our site are there for you to use as a resource for the many facets of the adoption and foster care processes. Please visit www.AdoptionWorld.net and discover our world.

Victoria Rowell’s Wedding Celebration

Earlier this week my sister-in-law mailed me an article from the July 12 New York Times. It was about the wedding of Victoria Rowell and Radcliffe Bailey. Victoria is best known for being an actress. She was in “The Young and the Restless” and “Diagnosis Murder”, as well as movies. Victoria is also a child advocate and author.

Victoria spent her childhood in foster care. In 18 years she was with many different families and collected lifelong memories from each. She shares her experiences in her book, “The Women Who Raised Me”.

In the article from the Times, her relationship with her husband is discussed as well as the beautiful ceremony. A group of the foster moms that raised Victoria led the processional into the church. The last foster mom she lived with, Sylvia Silverman, was quoted as saying, “It’s a wonderful union”.

After reading this article, I was intrigued by Ms. Rowell’s life as a foster child and her work with foster children today. I did a search on her name in order to find her website. Here is some information I learned after reviewing her site.

“Rowell Foster Children’s Positive Plan” was founded by Victoria Rowell in 1990 as a non-profit organization. The group strives to enrich foster children’s lives through artistic expression. The many programs allow children to attain a strong self-image, self-confidence, and a sense of personal achievement. At some of their camps, for example, children are able to reunite with siblings they were separated from when they went into foster care. Her website states that some studies have found that up to 75% of children in foster care are separated from at least one of their siblings when placed in foster care. Another focus of their programs is to promote participation in the fine arts or athletics.

Rowell has also been the national spokesperson for the Annie E. Casey Foundation’s direct service arm, Casey Family Services. She has contributed much in the education and support of foster children. She uses her status as a celebrity to bring awareness about foster care to a national audience.

Ms. Rowell is someone to commend for her achievements in helping children. I recommend you visit her website and read some of the success stories written by foster children who were helped by RFCPP.

www.rowellfosterchildren.org

Victoria truly honors the foster families that raised her by the life she is leading today. AWS wishes her the best in her union with Mr. Bailey.

The Secret Ingredient in Life Books

If you haven’t already visited our informational articles page, please do so soon!  One article is called “The Secret Ingredient in Life Books”.  It is written to the foster or adoptive parent by Donna Barnes.  Below are some excerpts from her article.

No one talked about “life books” back in the 70’s. That’s when my husband and I began our adoption journey. Armed only with resolve and love, we walked the whole nine yards through four challenging adoptions without a single life book. Our best attempt was a photo album for one of our daughters. It included the only two photos that we were given when she arrived at the tender age of six months and we added many more as she grew up. By age four, she enjoyed “reading” her photo album . . .

Did our kids survive without life books? Of course!
Would life books have been helpful? Absolutely!

Today, “LIFEBOOK” is the buzzword among professionals and parents alike. And rightly so, because an adoption life book should provide a child with a key ingredient – - the TRUTH (as much as is known) – - about his/her “life story.” It should contain the WHO, WHAT, WHERE AND WHY information that kids need to answer their questions and unscramble their lives. In short, it is . . .

more than a photo album, although photos are vitally important.
more than a “baby book,” although the “baby information is also vital to include if available.
more than a scrapbook of achievements.
more than a book that chronicles all the happy, fun times.

Adopted kids, and those who grow up in foster care, have difficulty building self-esteem without uncovering and processing the truth about their lives . . . And now, we have the secret ingredient, p-r-o-c-e-s-s-i-n-g through a life memory book! In addition to providing statistical information, life books are a means for kids to find out that they were not responsible for the problems in the family. This puts a different slant on everything.

A life book should help kids process their feelings!

To facilitate “processing” the child’s feelings, the child needs to be involved in its creation. After all, there is no therapeutic value to the older child if you do it for him/her. As the adult, part of your task is to discover what the child thinks is the truth about his/her life. If the child has a distorted view of events that shaped his/her life or fantasies that stick in his/her mind as the truth, gently, but honestly, bring truth into the picture. The information that you provide should be age-appropriate and will need to be retold as the child gets older and has more in-depth questions. You will then need to help the child process his/her feelings about their true “life story.” In the end, there is a very positive and accomplished feeling the child gains, two-fold: through writing and drawing their memories they gain an understanding about themselves and their life history, and in doing so the child gets to know you better by talking about their life story with their foster or adoptive family.

Adoption Life Books

Adoption Life Books serve several purposes. Adoption Lifebooks are therapeutic because they help children cope, understand and heal. They are also a good record keeping devise for important family history.

Adoption Life Books are serious in places but should also have sections that are simply fun for the child. They tell a child’s story. The child should have enjoyment in telling about their likes, dislikes and positive family memories. In so many cases, the child’s past may be difficult, but Adoption Life Books also assist in allowing the child to address these issues while working with a social worker.

Adoption World Specialties is the leader in Adoption Life Books.  Our website showcases all of our adoption books, and each life book is available to order easily, and conveniently, online at www.adoptionworld.net – please visit our site and discover our world!

Excerpt from our Adoption Life Book:

“Hello! My name is Ricky.”

“Together we are going to record your life story in this “Life Book”.

“Why? Because no one else in the world is exactly like you. WHO YOU ARE, WHERE YOU’VE COME FROM, AND HOW YOU GOT HERE are important parts of your story. With the help of your caseworker, foster parents or adoptive parents, we can complete this book… one page at a time… skip a page and come back to it later… or move ahead quickly as you want to. And, you can add extra pages wherever they fit in. As you write your story, some parts will make you feel happy and others may make you feel sad or angry. It will also be fun to learn any new information about yourself. ALL of your feelings are important and should be shared with your adult helper. SO… LET’S GET STARTED. The first chapter will be fun because it is about who you are right now – a VERY SPECIAL PERSON.”

Animals and Me!

Adoption World Specialties has a plethora of ancillary pieces targeted at foster children and adopted children – or those kids and parents that are in the transition process. One piece from our product line is called “Animals and Me!”.

Often times children in foster care or those that have moved into an adoptive situation have made several animal friends along their lives paths. In some cases the animals in their lives are even more special to them than people. Many children have lived in multiple homes and the trust they’ve gained from human relationships is less than desirable. It is important for the child to keep a memory book dedicated to their animal friends.“Animals and Me!” is a booklet written especially for these animal-loving kids.

An excerpt from this booklet:

“Hi, my name is Gracie and I’m 10 years old. I haven’t always had neighborhood friends to hang out with, but I’ve had a bunch of cool animals around!My favorite was a collie named Lokey. He was wild and fun and lived 2 houses away. Kane was a tiny white puppy across the street. He was so soft and cute! Last time I visited my old neighborhood he was huge! He still remembered me! I mainly love dogs. Bo and Truffle were my dogs I had to say good-bye to. My cat Taz also went away. But now I have 3 cats and a turtle! Animals will always be special to me. I want to be a veterinarian. Maybe YOU have special animals that you can write about in this journal! Have fun!!!”

This adoption memory book allows the child to write about and draw the animals they have met in their life journey. They can write details about their favorite animal friends or pets, and also write about the animals they didn’t like so much. Animals are like people – lots of people are nice, and some don’t seem so nice.

“Animals and Me!” allows the foster parent or adoptive parent to discuss this fact. It touches on the idea of “stranger danger” as it pertains to animals. Animals are often the lure used by strangers to abduct children, and this booklet teaches the value of recognizing such dangers. Another learning tool detailed in this booklet is how to find information about the child’s favorite animals on the computer. There’s a world of information at their fingertips when searching out animal facts… what a great activity for child and parent to do together!

This is a valuable memory book for foster and adoptive children. Please check out the other ancillary pieces, such as “Positive Adoptive Language”, “Foster-to-Adopt Booklet for Child”, “Foster-to-Adopt Booklet for Parent”, and “Family Connections” at www.AdoptionWorld.net – discover our world!

One and Only Me Life Book for Foster Care from Adoption Life Book company Adoption World Specialties.

As I mentioned in an earlier blog, our One and Only Me lifebook has a great new cover design. It is fun, exciting and has been getting some great feedback from the people who have purchased it.

This life book is an excellent therapeutic tool to help foster children figure out who they are and where they are going. This process is used to engage the child and help them deal with their questions of identity, loss and relationships. This is a tool that can be used by social workers and foster parents alike.

During the process of filling out the child’s life book, as you work with the child you travel through the “chapters” of their life. The pages gather information and are filled with topics such as “Facts About Me”, “My Personality”, “Feelings are a part of me”, “My Birth Family and Me”, “People and Places on my Journey” and much more. There are stickers and hands-on motivators to get the child involved and excited about the process. There is also a section available if the child’s placement turns into an adoption.

The lifebook can be added to as they grow and move and it can serve as a scrapbook or diary of their life. The child will treasure this information and they can keep items special to them and photos in the special keepsake envelope.

I think my favorite part of this Foster Care Life Book is the fact that there are so many pages that allow the child to fill in how they feel about things and what matters to them. They can document how they are feeling and know that there is nothing wrong with feeling hurt and lost. It gives them tools to discuss it with an adult in a non-threatening way. This is even more important for children who transfer to many foster homes.

NACAC Conference August 13-15

I recently registered for the NACAC (North American Council on Adoptable Children) Conference. It is taking place August 13-15 in Columbus Ohio. Originally I had registered simply as an exhibitor. We want to be able to show our Life Books, Adoption workbooks, and booklets concerning foster-to-adopt for both child and parents. After looking at the list of speakers and events that will be taking place, I also registered as a participant. I am anxious to attend some of the sessions. I have recently spoken to some of the people presenting and am anxious to meet them.

Since starting with Adoption World Specialties, I have talked with so many case workers, agency directors and foster supervisors. Many have been to the NACAC conference in the past and have told me it will be fantastic opportunity to both learn and to interact with others in the foster/adoption community. Some have told me they can’t make it this year due to budget issues. If you are going to be at NACAC, send me an email! I would love to meet up with as many people as I can. My email address is kmobley@adoptionworld.net

I found on the NACAC website a listing of the 2009 Award Winners. I was pleased to see a Senator from Iowa, Charles Grassley, will receive an award for being an advocate for children. His office was helpful to my husband and me in both our children’s adoptions. He was especially helpful in getting information on international adoption and later on gaining citizenship for our son.

Another Iowa connection, Elevate, is receiving an award for being an adoption activist. Elevate is a youth-driven program that inspires change, compassion and connection for foster and adoptive youth in Iowa. Elevate members are youth ages 13 and up who have been involved in foster care, adoption or other out-of-home placements. They are young people who want to make a difference in the child welfare system. This award is well deserved!

Memory Book for Children in Foster Care from Adoption Lifebook company Adoption World Specialties.

Professionals agree that all children need to have their story documented and accessible. This is especially true for “system kids” who shuffle from home to home, losing their stories along the way.

Until now, “documenting” has been easier said than done. When given a blank scrapbook, foster parents often feel overwhelmed or “creatively challenged”, and, consequently, put this task aside…or forget altogether.

Here at Adoption World, we want to provide you with all of the materials you need to make connections with a child. Whether the child is in foster care or adopted, preserving the details of their life is so important. There are many ways to keep their precious memories safe. One way is to scrapbook. It is a fun and interactive way to document all of the child’s milestones.

Our book called “Your Foster Care Memory Book” is an easy to use scrapbook for the foster parent. It allows concise, practical documentation of a single placement. The book starts with a place for the child’s name so they can keep it with them always. Then onto an intro letter that explains to the child what the book is for. The pages of the scrapbook guide you seamlessly through the process. The information and photos that you collect will be treasured by the child for years to come.

The “Your Foster Care Memory Book” comes with a large “Stuff to Save” envelope that allows the child to keep their treasures together in one place.

Adoption Life Books – Child Booklet from Adoption World Specialties

The Foster-To-Adopt Child Booklet

The Foster-to-Adopt “Child” booklet explains that adoption is a big word for small people. In addition to Adoption World Specialties’ array of adoption life books and foster life books, this booklet is a valuable tool for use by parents when they’ve decided to adopt. The adoptive child has many questions and this booklet was written to help them understand what adoption is and how it is different from foster care. Our friends, Ja’mar and Michael and Sarah will help to explain how they traveled the path from being foster children to being adopted by their forever families.

Ja’mar says: “When I was a baby, I lived with my mom and dad. They had a lot of fights. I didn’t like the yelling. Then, when I was five, I went to live with somebody else. After my mom and dad got a divorce, I went back home to live with my mom again, but she still had too many problems. Then she went away somewhere with her boyfriend and didn’t come back. My grandma tried to help, but she got sick and I couldn’t stay with her anymore. Now, my foster parents have adopted me. I’m sure glad they have pets.”

Michael and Sarah say: “Our social worker said we won’t ever live with our mom or dad again. That made my sister, Sarah, cry, but I’m bigger and I’ll take care of her. And our new parents know a lot ‘bout stuff and tuck us into bed at night. They have adopted us and so that means we have a new name and we’ll be their kids forever.”

When your foster family adopts a child, many things take place. As the children explain, Ja’mar says: “My foster mom took me to visit the courthouse ahead of time so I wouldn’t feel so scared. But I still worried that the judge would say “no”. Instead, she shook my hand and said, “Ja’mar, your adoptive parents are lucky to have you for their son.” I had my picture taken with her… she was really nice.

Michael and Sarah also shared with us. Michael says: “Adoption means that I get to have a birthday party every year with the same family.” Sarah says: “Getting adopted was fun. I got a balloon and a new Betsy Baby Doll.”

After adoption, what changes? Some things will change and some will not. A list of child wonderments as follows: Your birthday will not change! Other things that probably won’t change include the child’s bedtime, where they sleep, chores, rules, school or church, friends, pets and weekly activities. Things that will change can be laid out as follows: The social worker, lawyer or judge no longer will decide what is best for the child, like when that child should go to the dentist, if they can stay overnight with a friend or go on a school fieldtrip. After adoption, that is the parents’ job because that’s how it’s supposed to work in families.

When the adoption is final, a new birth certificate will be sent to the parents saying that the child is now their SON or their DAUGHTER. Another change that happens for most kids is a name change! Guess what?! Some kids think that a new name is fun! Some kids thing that a new name sounds strange. Some kids worry… this is a key issue the foster parents can discuss with their child prior to adoption.

Last, it is important that the child’s memories are kept sacred. It will be OK to remember and talk about the birth family members the child is separated from. New parents won’t expect the child to forget about places they lived or pets that they cared about before that child came to their care. Ja’mar says, “I have pictures of my mom. I put them in my life book. Then when I miss her, I just open my book and that makes me feel better. But I wish I had a picture of my dad… and…Rusty. He’s the dog I used to have. He always went along with my dad and me when we went fishing.” Michael and Sarah comment, “When Mother’s Day comes, I think about my mom and I wonder what she’s doing. Then I feel sad that I’m not with her. Her name is Jody. She has long hair.”

To the child:

Well, adoption is still a big word, isn’t it? Adoption World Specialties hopes you understand things a little better now. Did you know that many children, who need a permanent family, have to wait… and wait… and wait? They aren’t as lucky as you are to have foster parents who love them and want to adopt them. Of all the things you have learned from this special book, most of all we want you to remember that YOU ARE LOVEABLE… AND LOVED! www.AdoptionWorld.net

Adoption Life Books Company Adoption World Specialties presents this article on The Foster-to-Adopt Parent Booklet.

The Foster-To-Adopt Parent Booklet

The Foster-to-Adopt Parent booklet consists of valuable advice aimed at parents who are thinking of adopting their foster child. There are many decisions about adopting, adoption is a big step! You already have a relationship with your foster child and understand his/her situation. And, you have invested much of yourself in the child’s well being and future. Parental rights are finally terminated… so, why not adopt and give this child the love and security of a permanent family?

Like marriage, adoption is a lifetime commitment that affects the lives of many people. It must be considered carefully before taking such a big step. Adoption World Specialties publishes this foster parent booklet, serving to provide perspectives for you to consider; make pre-adoption suggestions; alert you to post-adoption changes that you might experience, and offer suggestions for working through some of the issues that might surface.

You may already have a foster life book or foster story book. There is a supplemental chapter if you decide to adopt, which includes a storyline encompassing the adoption process. You can order this chapter from Adoption World Specialties, link below.

The topics our Foster-to-Adopt Parent booklet touches on are as follows: Is adoption the right choice for you? For the child? At this time? Then it lays out many questions you might want to consider. This booklet explains how you may want to handle birth parent issues. It touches on how important attachment can be. It asks what might the future hold for your child? For you as adoptive parents?

So you’ve given it serious thought and want to move ahead into adoption. What’s next? As adoption day nears, be prepared for “pre-adoption “ jitters! After finalization, be prepared for child’s grieving or a change in behavior. After adoption, what will be different… what will be the same? Should you continue to foster parent?

Please discover our world of information on foster life books, foster-to-adopt guides, adoption life books, and adoption workbooks at www.AdoptionWorld.net because this is an important decision for your family – please make it carefully!